My cosmetology school experience
In today’s episode, I want to take it back all the way to the beginning and share about my cosmetology school experience. I think for every stylist cosmetology school makes a big impact on the future of your career and by saying that I don’t mean having a bad cosmetology school experience is going to lead to a less successful career, because I would argue for me personally my nightmare of a cosmetology school experience actually led to me having a more successful career, However it does shape your perceptions of the industry. As baby stylists, we are so moldable to a world that we haven’t experienced yet.
Growing up I had a hairstylist we would see regularly for trims, but otherwise I was fairly disconnected to what the beauty industry really was. As silly as it is to admit, I didn’t even realize cosmetology school was an option for me, and this is partially because college was so strongly pushed both in the school district I attended, and from my family. Being a good honors student was something that my parents held to a very high expectation which ultimately led to that being a part of my identity, so throughout my high school years I had a running list of colleges that I wanted to attend and degree plans ranging from social work to counseling that I thought would be a good fit, but visiting the schools and learning more about what those career paths would actually look like made me quickly realize I did not want to be part of that world.
Ironically, during this identity crisis I was facing my senior year of high school, my boyfriend at the times sister dropped out of her university to pursue her cosmetology license, which had been a dream of hers since before she ever attended college. In that moment a lightbulb went off and I realized that this was something I could actually do for myself. I always loved playing with makeup, experimenting with new hair styles, and I would even do intricate updos on myself for just another regular Tuesday at school because I found styling hair so peaceful and fun for me. I quickly became known as the girl to call whenever you needed some extra help getting ready for prom and so it only made sense I would turn this passion of mine into a career.
I recently learned after telling my parents that I wanted to go to cosmetology school that my mom had a conversation with our long standing hairstylist growing up about how she was very concerned about this idea of mine. She thought I should be going to college instead of cosmetology school because I was “too smart” to “throw my life away” apparently our hairstylist, and I love her for this, turned to her and said “so you’re saying I’m stupid and have done nothing with my life” of course my mother replied “oh, you’re different” but clearly she was deep enough in that mindset that she couldn’t even catch herself before saying something so hurtful to someone we had built a relationship with since I was in diapers.
My father also made a lot of comments about how hair would be a good job for me to have while I went back to college, even after getting established into my career. I tried explaining that my clients didn’t care if I had a college degree so why would I take on that debt for a useless piece of paper, but he held his stance. I will add that he did apologize for this later. After about 6 years and well into owning my own salon, he admitted that he had never met someone who went to cosmetology school and lasted more than 5 years or who had enjoyed their career choice.
All of that to say that, my decision to go to cosmetology school was met with a lot of push back. But I was determined to do something I enjoyed so I signed up for the semi-local cosmetology school that my now sister-in-law was attending. I knew from the start it wasn’t anything fancy, they didn’t have a big brand name like Paul Mitchell, Aveda, or Redken backing them. But it was supposedly the best option for where I lived because as we all know sometimes the options are limited when you live in a small town.
Over the course of the next 11 months and 1500 hours I truly had no idea what I was getting myself into. Looking back they really didn’t educate us about the real world beyond how to pass the state board exam. Just like the textbook, multiple textures of hair were never discussed. I didn’t apply a single toner during my time in school or understood how they worked. I was teaching a lot of the newer students how to style and braid because our instructors couldn’t do it. Some of the instructors spent more time mocking and gossiping about other students than actually teaching hair, and we were given a lot of miss information about starting our careers. I was often told that we would never be able to build a clientele in our small towns because the market was too over saturated with salons, and if we ever wanted to have a successful clientele we would need to move to bigger cities. We were also led to believe that we would never make a profit if we claimed all our cash on our taxes and were consistently told ways to illegally evade taxes as a business strategy.
I would like to add that I don’t judge anyone else for how they personally choose to run their business, but as someone who is extremely honest on their taxes and has an irrational fear of getting audited by the IRS, I can attest that you can indeed make a profit while paying your taxes properly. There are plenty of legal ways to save if you have a good CPA, and you can reap added benefits like qualifying for a better home loan because of it.
What is the most shocking to me about my experience isn’t the quality of the technical education we received, it was the culture that was cultivated around small town stylists stereotypes. They leaned into the gossip culture and would often bully people for having a different world view than them. They held onto the belief that not many of us would make anything of ourselves and predetermined who their favorites were from the start. There was a sea of negativity and not much encouragement happening, which is not the most optimistic way to start a career.
I’ve often wondered how unique or common this experience is for other stylists. How many of us struggled through cosmetology school because of poor leadership and then abruptly pushed into the real world with no real experience or training? Did we find ourselves repeating the toxic cycle of abusive bosses because we assumed that was the standard in the industry? How prevalent is this culture among the beauty industry as a whole, versus the insulated bubble I was exposed to? I don’t think there is a quantifiable way to measure these things, but I can guarantee they are more common than they should be.
After many conversations in the past 10 years I’ve realized that there are a wide variety of both positive and negative school experiences, but I’ve noticed a correlation between the struggles of being a small town stylist and the setbacks some schools place on us. I don’t have any real solutions for how to fix this, but I am hoping by having these conversations I can empower other stylists to see a new perspective and give this industry a better reputation.
There are stylists who believe in supporting each other. There are salon owners that will cheer you on even after you leave their salon to start your own. There are instructors and educators who genuinely care about seeing you succeed. There are clients who will value you, show mutual respect, and love you in ways it will heal your inner child when you’re least expecting it.
Sometimes being in an isolated smaller community, it’s difficult to see the possibilities this industry has to offer. Maybe you don’t have access to salons that offer a structured assistant program, or no one in your area has adapted to more modern ways of running business behind the chair and they might be judging you for pursuing a more unique approach. I know it personally took me a little longer to find the stylists I truly resonated with, but the more I’ve opened up my network through online classes and social media to the connections I’ve made around the world, the more support and confidence I have felt building the business I dreamed of in my hometown.
Looking past all of the days I would come home crying from school or work, wondering if everyone else was right about this being a huge mistake, I now realize that these experiences only made me more resilient and driven.
Sometimes I believe this is my toxic trait, but all of the adversity and the people discouraging me along the way really inspired me to prove them wrong. I made it my goal to bring what I wanted this career to be into fruition because I knew that I saw something in it for me that no one else was recognizing.
Today after a lot of therapy, growth and healing, I would no longer do things in spite of anyone else, but rather because I know they are the right choice for me regardless of anyone else’s doubt. Every single one of the people who said I “shouldn’t work in a small town” I “shouldn’t go to cosmetology school” or that “I was throwing my potential away by becoming just another small town hairstylist” all said those things from a place of their own insecurities. They were projecting their fears onto me, not because they wanted to be malicious, but because they were somehow—even if it was in the worst ways possible—trying to protect me from their own struggles and regrets.
The point of me sharing this story isn’t just to vent about my journey of becoming a hairstylist, but to encourage you if you are someone that has felt discouraged by your cosmetology school experience or disadvantaged from being in a small town salon that you can overcome all of it. You are not any less valuable because of where you’re located or how you got your license. We all start somewhere, and where we choose to take this career is completely our own.
Failure is part of the process. Not truly knowing what you want is part of the process. Pivoting completely, starting over, and going through some hard sh*t is going to be part of your process at some point or another. But it was also part of the process for everyone else that you admire or look up to both in this industry and beyond. That’s the sh*tty thing about growth, it’s always uncomfortable and usually never what you expect it to be, while consistently resulting in something even better on the other side of it.
Only you know what is going to bring you the most joy in this life, and it’s up to you to go after those dreams regardless of what anyone else thinks about them. I hope by listening to this you feel empowered to make it through whatever season of life you’re in, whether it’s a rough patch of business or a series of personal events. You are worthy of finding the peace and fulfillment you crave, and don’t ever forget that.
- Casey Taylor
